Михаил Назаренко (petro_gulak) wrote,
Михаил Назаренко
petro_gulak

"Topsy-Turvy World"

Наслаждаюсь антологией английской юмористической поэзии (М., 1974; составитель - Н. Демурова). Лир, Кэрролл, Беллок, Честертон и все-все-все, вплоть до Макавити, Преступного Кота.
Несколько лимериков, к моему и (надеюсь) вашему удовольствию:

A collegiate damsel named Breeze,
Weighed down by B.A.'s and Litt. D.'s
Collapsed from the strain.
Alas, it was plain
She was killing herself by degrees.

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

Said the fair-haired Rebecca of Klondike,
"Of you I’m exceedingly fond, Ike.
"To prove I adore you
"I’ll dye, darling, for you,
"And be a brunette, not a blonde, Ike."

There was a young girl, a sweet lamb,
Who smiled as she entered a tram.
After she had embarked,
The conductor remarked,
"Your fare." And she said, "Yes, I am."

There was a young lady named Erskine,
Who had a remarkably fair skin.
When I said to her, "Mabel,
You'd look well in sable,"
She replied, "I'm best in my bearskin."

There was an old fellow of Lyme
Who lived with three wives at one time.
When asked, "Why the third?"
He replied, "One's absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime."

An amoeba, named Sam, and his brother
Were having a drink with each other;
In the midst of their quaffing,
They split themselves laughing,
And each of them now is a mother.

There was a young man from Laconia,
Whose mother-in-law had pneumonia.
He hoped for the worst,
And after March first,
They buried her 'neath a begonia.

There was a young person from Perth,
Who was born on the day of his birth.
He was married, they say,
On his wife's wedding day
And died when he quitted this earth.

There was a young fellow named Hall
Who fell in the spring in the fall.
'Twould have been a sad thing
Had he died in the spring,
But he didn't - he died in the fall.

A railroad official at Crewe
Met an engine one day that he knew.
Though he nodded and bowed
The engine was proud,
And it cut him - it cut him in two.

There was a young man of South Bay,
Making fireworks one summer day.
He dropped his cigar
In the gunpowder jar...
There was a young man of South Bay.

A new servant maid named Maria
Had trouble in lighting the fire.
The wood being green,
She used gasoline...
Her position by now is much higher.

There was a young fellow named Weir
Who hadn't an atom of fear;
He indulged a desire
To touch a live wire...
-- Most any last line will do here.

There was an old man who averred
He had learned to fly like a bird.
Cheered by thousands of people
He leapt from the steeple -
This tomb states the date it occurred.

There's a notable family named Stein
There’s Gertrude, there’s Ep and there’s Ein.
Gert’s prose is the bunk,
Ep's sculpture is junk
And no one can understand Ein!

A young Irish servant in Drogheda
Had a mistress who often annogheda,
Whereuopn she would swear
In a language so rare
That thereafter nobody emplogheda.

Said a man to his wife down in Sydenham,
"My trousers - where have you hydenham?
It is perfectly true
They aren't brand new,
But I foolishly left half-a-quidenham."

There was a young lady named Banker,
Who slept while the ship lay at anchor;
She awoke in dismay
When she heard the mate say,
"Hi! Hoist up the top-sheet and spanker!"

There was a young wife from Antigua
Who remarked to her spouse, "What a pigua!"
He retorted, "My queen,
Is it manners you mean,
Or do you refer to my figua?"

There were three little birds in a wood,
Who always sang hymns when they could.
What the words were about
You could never make out,
But you felt it was doing them good.

Лимерик Эдварда Лира и вариация Уильяма Гилберта:

There was an Old Man in a tree,
Who was horribly bored by a Bee.
When they said "Does it buzz?"
He replied "Yes, it does!
It's a regular brute of a Bee!"

There was an old man of St. Bees,
Who was stung in the arm by a Wasp.
When asked, "Does it hurt?"
He replied, "No, it doesn't
"I'm glad it wasn't a Hornet."

И напоследок:

There was a young man of Japan,
Who wrote the verse that never would scan.
When they said, "But the thing
Doesn't go with a swing,"
He said, "Yes, but I always like to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can."
Tags: texts
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  • 16 comments

  • Народ

    "Народ — это не желающая никаких существенных перемен масса людей, каждый из которых недоволен своим собственным положением". (Борис Стругацкий, в…

  • ТББ

    В авторском тексте «Трудно быть богом», как известно, дон Рэба был Рэбия. Изменено по очевидным причинам. Так вот я думаю: Рэбия он не только потому…

  • Остров

    Что ни говори, Стругацкие умели быть пророками. Я давно знаю, что мы живем в республике Хонти - но только недавно убедился, что и в ней построили…