Михаил Назаренко (petro_gulak) wrote,
Михаил Назаренко
petro_gulak

Чертова дюжина эпитафий

Очаровательная книжка “A Small Books of Grave Humour” (ed. by Fritz Spiegel, 1971): обложка и страницы в форме надгробия, а внутри – курьезные эпитафии, от знаменитых (Франклин) до никому не известных. Сомнительные так и обозначены – “unverified”.
Вот некоторые:

In memory of
MRS
LYDIA BARNETT ~
consort of
NOAH RIPLEY ESQ
By whom she had eight sons and eleven daughters
seventeen of whom lived to have families. Her
descendants at the time of her decease were ninety-
seven grandchildren & one hundred & six great-
grandchildren
She died January 17 1816 aged 91
Many daughters have done virtuously but thou hast excelled

* * *

Here Lyes
STEPHEN RUMBOLD
He lived to ye Age of 100 & 1
Sanguine & Strong
An hundred to one
You don’t Live so Long


* * *

August 7th 1714
MARY
the wife of Joseph Yates
of Lizard Common within this parish,
was buried
aged 127 years
She walked to London just after the Fire in 1666
was hearty & strong at 120 years
and married a 3rd husband at 92

* * *

Here
Lyeth ye body
of JOHN
Ap Robert Ap Porth
Ap David Ap Griffith
Ap David Vaughan
Ap Blethyn Ap Griffith
Ap Meredith Ap Jerworth
Ap Llewellyn Ap Jerom
Ap Heilin Ap Cowrid
Ap Cadvan Ap Alawgwa
Ap Cadell the King of Powys
Who Departed this Life
The xx day of March
In the year if our Lord God 1642
And of his age xcv

* * *

Here lise the body of
LADY O’LOONEY
Great niece of BURKE
Commonly called the Sublime
She was Bland, Passionate
and deeply Religiuos, also
she painted in water colours
and sent several pictures
to the Exhibition
She was first Cousin to
LADY JONES
and of such is the
Kingdom of Heaven

* * *

Here lies
JOHN TAGGART
of honest fame
of stature low
&
a leg lame.
Content was he
with portion small
kept a shop in Wigtown
&
that's all

* * *

Here lies poor
but honest Bryan Tunstall
he was a most expert angler,
until Death, envious of his Merit,
threw out his line, hooked him,
and landed him here
the 21st day of April 1790

* * *

[Sudbury, Suffolk]

Travellers
I will relate a prodigy


On the day whereon the
aforesaid THOMAS CARTER
breathed out his soul
a Sudbury camel passed
through the eye of a needle
GO – and if thou art wealthy
do likewise

farewell

* * *

M.S.
DONALD ROBERTSON
born 1st of January 1785
died 4th of June 1848
aged 63 years

He was a peaceable quiet man, and, to all
appearance a sincere Christian
His death was very much regretted –
which was caused by the stupidity
of LAWREENCE TULLOCH of Clotherton
who sold him nitre instead of Epsom salts by
which he was killed in the space of
three hours after taking a dose of it

* * *

Hrer lies
Poor Charlotte
Who died no harlot –
But in her Virginity *
Of the age Nineteen
In this vicinity
Rare to be found
or seen

* * *

Erected to the Memory

of
John McFarlane
Drown’d in the Water of Leith

By a few affectionate friends

* * *

Here lies
interred
the Body of
MARY HASELTON
A young maiden of this town
Born of Roman Catholic parents
And virtuously brought-up
who being in the act of prayer
repeating her vespers
was instantaneously
killed by a flash of lightning
August 16 1785
Aged 9 years

* * *

THOs WOODCOCK

Here lie the remains of
THOMAS WOODHen
The most aimiable of
Husbands
And excellent of men

His real name was Woodcock
But it wouldnt come in Rhyme

* * *

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  • АИ

    Нова альтернативна історія "з елементами стімпанку". Перше речення: "Нічний ліс завмер, уповитий тенетами потойбічної німоти". Можна, я не буду…

  • Очень альтернативная история

    Герой романа Василия Нарежного "Бурсак" (1824) родился то ли в 1679, то ли в 1671 году (на одной и той же странице указаны разные даты). Он учится в…

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    Прекрасный риторический прием из «Английской истории» Джейн Остин. Надо как-нибудь использовать. HENRY the 8th. It would be an affront to my…